Parenting Solo, But Not Alone: Q&A with Single Foster and Adoptive Parents

Between 13,000 and 15,000 children are in Pennsylvania's foster care system at any given time. There is an urgent and ongoing need for more foster and adoptive families, especially those ready to meet children where they are with patience, support, and love.

At The Salvation Army Children's Services in Eastern Pennsylvania, we've seen single adults answer that call. Whether fostering, adopting, or both, these parents are offering stability, compassion, and the kind of presence that can change a child's life.

And they're not doing it alone. Our specialists and practitioners walk alongside every family with wraparound services, trauma-informed training, and trusted guidance tailored to each home.

To better understand their experiences, especially for others who may be considering this path, we asked several of our single foster and adoptive parents to reflect on their journey.

Why did They Choose This Path?

Deciding whether to foster or adopt as a single adult is a life-changing decision, often shaped by both calling and circumstance. When we asked single parents in The Salvation Army Children's Services program what led them to take this step, they shared a common motivation: the desire to show up for a child in need with love, consistency, and care, whether by offering a forever home or providing stability during a time of uncertainty.

Why did you decide to become a foster or adoptive parent?

"I chose to become a future adoptive parent because I can't wait to be part of a youth's forever family. I want to watch them grow into the person they're meant to be and help them overcome obstacles along the way. Through my work, I've seen the impact a positive, caring relationship with an adult can have on a young person, and I believe I can provide that same level of care, stability, and support in a forever home." - Erin P.

"I wanted to help families, and I absolutely love kids! I've always believed every child deserves to feel safe, loved, and supported. Becoming a foster parent felt like a way I could give back, to be a consistent presence and a source of love during a time of uncertainty in a child's life." - Jamie M.

"For me, it was never if I was going to foster or adopt, but when. I never imagined being a single parent (especially by choice!), but once I learned how great the need was, I realized I didn't have to wait to help. While what I had to offer wasn't perfect, it was something. I was really impacted by the famous quote, 'Every kid is one caring adult away from being a success story.' I realized I was one caring adult, and maybe I could make a difference for children and families going through a rough time." - Emily A.

Facing Fears, Doing it Anyway

Choosing to foster or adopt as a single parent often comes with real questions and concerns. From logistics to emotional readiness, many parents shared that their biggest fears weren't about love, but about whether they could truly manage everything on their own.

What were your biggest fears about fostering/adopting as a single parent?

"My biggest fear was simply being single. I didn't have parents nearby to act as foster grandparents, and my sister lives out of state, so her involvement would only be limited. I started to realize that things most families don't have to plan for - like mowing the lawn - would require a backup plan to ensure a child would be safely supervised. I had to think through how I would manage situations like getting to the school quickly in an emergency, finding childcare during non-traditional hours, or what would happen if I got sick. These fears weren't about my ability to love a child, but about making sure I could meet every need, every day, on my own." - Erin P.

"My biggest fear was failure. I worried I'd go through the entire licensing process and never be needed - or worse, that a child would come to me and I'd realize I was in over my head. The last thing I wanted was to let a child or family down. Putting yourself out there as a foster/adoptive parent is a vulnerable thing. Now, on the other side of the equation, I see that this is not just a single-parent issue - many families feel this way." - Emily A.

The Salvation Army's Role: A Community of Care

The Salvation Army Children's Services provides ongoing guidance and a strong foundation for foster and adoptive parents and families through trainings and information, learning resources, care communities, post-adoption support, the HALO Project, and trusted relationships with Trust-Based Relational Intervention (TBRI) Practitioners on staff who walk alongside families at every stage of the journey.

How does The Salvation Army support you as a single foster or adoptive parent?

"My matching caseworker has been amazing. I know I can reach out to her any time with questions, and she's helped me think through plans for when I welcome a child into my home. I also appreciate that The Salvation Army creates care communities to support new families through the adoption process, offering meals, connections with other families, help with small tasks, trainings, and TBRI practices." - Erin P.

"I first fostered to adopt, and I can't say enough about The Salvation Army Children's Services staff. The training sets them apart. TBRI and its principles work!" - Hal B.

"The Salvation Army has been a source of strength and encouragement. They've supported me through the process, celebrated milestones, and reminded me that I'm never alone in this journey. Their team has made a real difference, not just for me, but for every child I've had the privilege to care for." - Jamie M.

"The Salvation Army made me feel like a welcomed and valued member of their team from day one. I never felt like a second-class foster parent because I was single - quite the opposite. Being a small, connection-based agency, I quickly got to know all of the staff, and they knew my children and me. Throughout the twists and turns of my kids' foster care journey, they were always there to offer a listening ear and take the time to explain what was going on." - Emily A.

The Moments That Make it Worth It

Despite the challenges, each parent shared moments of joy that make the journey worthwhile, often found in quiet, everyday milestones and the relationships they've built along the way.

What have been the best parts of your journey so far?

"Watching his growth and maturity, when he hugs me, and calls me his father." - Hal B.

"All the love! Every child who has come into my life has been a blessing. Their smiles, their progress, even the little everyday moments - those are the parts that stay with you forever." - Jamie M.

"The best part of my journey, hands down, has been getting to become a mom to the two most precious, unique, feisty, strong, empathetic, and downright cool humans. They have changed my entire world in the best possible way. They will forever and always be my absolute favorite thing in my entire life." - Emily A.

Advice for Single Adults Considering Foster Care or Adoption

For those who may be wondering whether fostering or adopting as a single person is possible, these parents offered thoughtful, honest advice.

Do you have any advice for other single people who may be considering becoming foster or adoptive parents?

"Really look at your resources. What kind of support do you have from family, friends, and your community? Think about local doctors, therapists, YMCAs, art schools, gyms, malls, movie theaters - what your community offers that could help the child feel welcome and engaged. Consider the schools. Will the child fit in, or might they feel like an outcast? Don't be afraid to ask for support and a care community. Think outside the box about who and what can help you both thrive. Also, take whatever support resources are offered. Even small things add up." - Erin P.

"Don't let being single hold you back. If your heart is in it, and you're ready to show up with love, patience, and consistency - go for it. Build your support system, ask questions, and trust yourself. Kids don't need perfection - they need someone who shows up and keeps showing up." - Jamie M.

"If you're in Pennsylvania within 60 miles of Allentown, go with The Salvation Army! Keep your heart and hands open and your expectations low. Foster care is full of twists and turns, and there are times when things simply don't make sense. Remember that your job is to provide a safe and loving home for a child, however long they need it. Build up your support system, including at least one safe person that you can vent to when things get hard." - Emily A.

To learn more about foster care, adoption, or volunteering, call us at 610-821-7706 or visit our Contact page. For more information, sign up for The Salvation Army Children's Services newsletter.