From The Editor: Worthy

I struggle with worthiness. I know without a doubt that I was crafted perfectly by a Master Creator, but do I really have something to say? Am I worth listening to? Do I, in my limited life experience, have a worthwhile story to tell? Even if someone does read my words, could they ever possibly make an impact on their heart, mind, or spirit?

I journaled quite a bit growing up. Every now and again I’ll pick up one of my old journals and read the angsty, emotional thoughts of a young Kristin, simultaneously pitying her for her pain and difficulties while overjoyed in the knowledge of her beautiful future life. These words were not meant for an audience; they were a means of working through tangled thoughts, giving them form and order as a means of processing.

They were also an important part of my prayer life. Sometimes in my journaling I would use two different colored pens. I would write my prayers in black ink, and write any responses I heard in red. This was my favorite method of intentional discussion with my Father. I had many long discussions with Him about my heart, my feelings, my difficulties, and about our love for each other. My journals will never be something for others to read. Those words are just for me and my Creator.

But even if no one else ever reads my words, here or in my old journals, they have still had an impact. They are a way for me to process my life, a means of naming my thoughts and feelings. It is a way for me to have a written record of my conversations with my Father. But by publishing the stark truths of my life, in being real, open, and honest about my struggles, maybe someone else can connect with my thoughts. Perhaps another person out there will read my thoughts as they would have journalled them as well. And I would hope that the answers God so graciously gives me through His Word will be the answers they also need to hear.

I may never know if my words reach further than a printed page or social media post. What I can know is that my God has placed specific words, ideas, and stories within me, and that He has given me a platform from which to speak these things into the world.

How can I refuse my Creator’s providence, His perfect plan? With His words on my lips, I will speak. With His praise in my soul, I will sing. With His love in my heart, I will spread the great news that we are not alone. We are made to be in relationship with a loving Father who will never leave us nor let us down.

As long as I say what He has created me to say, the words that spill from my lips will be worthy. As long as I seek to remain close to Him, I will be worth knowing. As long as I tell His story through my life, through my actions, and through my work, it is worthwhile.

And so are you.